When the project is you: men’s mental health
It’s time to talk about what men really feel
Not what they “should” feel. Not what they were taught is “right”. I mean what’s actually moving inside when nobody is watching.
Many men live with a mix of exhaustion, pressure, fear, and loneliness, but they’ve learned to wear a mask de “estoy bien”. They are the fixer, the one who holds it together, the one who swallows his tears. From the outside, it looks like they have everything under control, but inside, it feels like that control is slowly slipping away.
At CALMA, we want to open a conversation that is uncomfortable, pero súper necesaria:
What is happening with the mental health of the men who always have to be “strong”?
Not to blame them, but to offer something different. A more human, more honest, and more conscious way of being a man.
The myth of the strong man who can handle everything
From a young age, many men were told things like:
- “Men don’t cry.”
- “Man up.” / “Ponte fuerte.”
- “Don’t be dramatic.”
- “You just have to deal with it.”
And that script got recorded. The result:
A man learns that feeling is dangerous, and that showing what he feels is even worse.
So this is what happens:
- When he feels fear, he hides it behind jokes or indifference.
- When he feels sadness, it comes out as anger.
- When he feels alone, he isolates himself even more.
The internal message becomes:
“If I show what I feel, I’m weak. If I’m weak, I don’t deserve respect or love.”
But here is the uncomfortable and liberating truth at the same time:
A man’s strength is not measured by how many emotions he can shut down, but by how honest he can be with himself.
What men really feel (even if they rarely say it out loud)
Every story is unique, but there are emotions that show up again and again when men finally start to talk for real:
1. Pressure to be “the one who fixes everything”
Feeling that if you fall, everything else falls with you. Family, money, projects.
That constant weight on your shoulders creates anxiety, insomnia, irritability, but many times you just call it “normal stress”.
2. Fear of failing
Failing your partner. Your family. Yourself.
A voice that keeps saying:
“What you do is not enough. You could give more. You can’t mess this up.”
And that fear slowly turns off the joy of living in the present.
3. Emotional loneliness
You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. You may have friends to go out and grab a drink with, but not to say “I’m not okay”.
Many men don’t have a space where they can say, without being judged:
“I feel broken. I don’t know what to do with everything I’m carrying.”
4. Guilt and accumulated anger
You demand so much from yourself that when you don’t meet your own standards, guilt shows up:
“I’m a mess.” “I’m useless.” “I always ruin everything.”
And since it is hard to live with that much guilt, it turns into anger.
At yourself. At others. At life.
If you recognize yourself in any of this, it doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you’re human.
Your life as a project: designing your mental well-being
Many men are great at projects: They plan, organize, solve problems, look for solutions. Son buenísimos para eso.
What would happen if you used that same ability for your mental well-being?
Instead of seeing your emotions as a problem you have to hide, you can see them as information that helps you build a life that feels more aligned with who you are.
Your mental well-being is not a luxury. It’s not something “extra” you take care of only when you have time. It is the base project, the one that holds all the others: work, relationships, family, dreams.
The most important project of your life is you.
Practical steps to start designing your mental well-being
It’s not about changing everything from one day to the next. It’s about starting with something small, but intentional. Poquito pero constante.
1. Put a name to what you feel
Instead of always saying “I’m fine” or “I’m just tired”, try this:
- “I feel anxious.”
- “I’m frustrated.”
- “I feel lonely.”
- “I’m afraid I won’t make it.”
Putting a name to what you feel doesn’t make you weak. It makes you clearer with yourself. And what you can name, you can work on.
2. Break the silence with at least one person
You don’t have to tell everyone. Just one safe person.
It can be:
- A friend you know won’t laugh at you.
- Your partner.
- A family member.
Something as simple as:
“Hey, I need to talk about something serious. I haven’t been okay lately and I don’t really know what to do with everything I’m feeling.”
Opening that door even once is already a huge act of courage.
3. Create small habits that take care of your mind
You don’t need a perfect routine. You need consistency in simple things, like:
- Walking 10–20 minutes a day without your phone.
- Setting an alarm to stop and take deep breaths for 3 minutes.
- Writing in a note on your phone what you feel at the end of the day.
- Setting small boundaries: saying “no” to one thing you know will overwhelm you.
They are micro changes, but they send a very clear message to your brain:
“My well-being matters. I matter.”
4. Consider asking for professional help
Going to therapy doesn’t mean you’re “messed up”. It means you’ve decided not to carry everything alone anymore.
A professional can help you:
- Understand where what you feel comes from.
- Break patterns that are hurting you.
- Learn real tools to manage stress, anger, anxiety, sadness.
You are not less of a man for asking for help.
You are a man who is taking his life seriously.
A direct message for you
If you’re reading this and something inside you moved, I want you to hold on to this idea:
You don’t have to handle everything on your own.
You are not broken. You are just tired of carrying in silence something that deserves to be heard.
Your mental well-being is not a secondary topic. It is the foundation from which you love, work, care, and build.
And if sometimes you don’t know where to start, aquí no estás solo.
At CALMA, we want to keep creating spaces where talking about this is normal. Where a man can say “I’m not okay” without feeling ashamed.
What can you do today?
- Save this article so you can read it again when you need it.
- Share it with a man you care about who maybe never says what he really feels.
- Write down three things you are feeling right now, without judging yourself.
- And if you’re ready to take the next step, look for professional help or a safe space to talk.
Porque sí.
It’s time to talk about what men really feel.
And maybe this is the beginning of your most important project: your own mental well-being.